By Mobius

Being the poor, jobless, and hungry sap that I am, I will often resort to eating things that I otherwise would not want to be eating. Still, there is a point where I draw the line, and on this night, that point was most definitely reached.

It was 12pm and I was hungry. After scouring the cupboards I found a package of Lipton fettuccini alfredo, but to my dismay we were out of milk, which was needed to make it. So I grabbed this TV dinner out of the back of the freezer. I cooked it exactly as specified by the back of the box, but still, this so-called dinner fell far short of my standards for an edible meal.

The first indication that this meal was to be a catastrophe was the fact that it was 98% fat free (and by my guess, 98% not food)

As you can see here, the finished product looked nothing like the well painted plastic food on the cover of the box. The food is pushed around and cut up a bit from my initial attempt to consume the foul looking concoction. After careful inspection though, I deemed the food to be unsafe for consumption.

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The beans were the first item that I inspected. Now, It is my understanding that refried beans are not supposed to be crunchy or brittle. I don't what Don Miguel is trying to pull here, but these are obviously not refried beans like the ones on the cover of the box. The directions said to stir the beans, but these did not stir; they crumbled.

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The Spanish rice was probably the closest thing to food in the meal, but like the beans, it was totally dried out. It was all clumped together as well. In fact, it was more of a rice cake than just plain rice. Another thing I noticed was the fact that the rice on the box had diced peppers in it, but there were none in my rice that I could find.

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The main entrée was by far the scariest part of the dinner tray. The so-called chicken enchiladas contained little if any chicken, and were primarily filled with a strange mucous-like substance, which I was unable to identify. The corn tortilla it was wrapped in was soggy on the bottom and crunchy on the top. The cheese and sauce had mostly boiled into a hard mass around the edge of the container.

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And just what the fuck is this supposed to be?

I certainly wasn't going to eat this crap, but still, I couldn't let it go to waste could I? After all, there are plenty of starving children in Zimbabwe that would kill for a feast like this. So, I did the next best thing to shipping it off to some third world country--- I fed it to my dog.

Now that's one happy pooch!