02/25/06
by Ian has missed all this.
Taking the old girl out again. All doing html by hand. I make no promises at all, but I wouldn't be suprised to see some new stuff here, from time to time. If anyone wants to submit anything, I'll do my best not to be incredibly lazy. It doesn't hurt, it feels fine.
07/23/03
by Ian Refuses to Climb to Climb the Ladder for You
After being gone and stuff for a month, I'm back with... ONE comic! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAWEJLSAKLHASDFKLHasdfsdfajsdfajasdfh sdfl;3r8[2r5723rqwlf/asbnhl53q2 54qtasfioas5y12435tWWQ%#$^#@^#$^wetio[fg7as9-qwe5235agt7325l3kasyr89p353!!!!! AMERICA! You leave such a bad taste.
06/09/03
by Ian in the Sky with Diamonds
Let's all pretend these last few weeks didn't happen, and that I've been really good about updating on time. Please, do this for me. I NEED THIS. Ants in the Pants, ANTS IN THE PANTS?!?
06/04/03
by Ian just moved.
Yup, I moved. My new apartment is much nicer, but until like, just now, didn't have a phone. Sorry about that. I'M FOREST WHITAKER.
05/21/03
by Ian has been very busy.
What the hell? Do I update every week and a day now? Apparently so. Apparently so. Made with real fruit.
05/13/03
by Ian will always make it up to you
Who can you trust? Well, not me if you're smart. But that's ok, cause I came through without your trust. You asshole. WHY DON'T YOU EVER BELIEVE IN ME??!!? YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY FATHER!!!! OH JESUS, I'M HAVING AN EPISODE! They cut of my legs, now I'm an amputee God damn you!
05/12/03
by Ian will always let you down
Today's update is delayed on account of I need to study. I do have stuff to update with though. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. Your pretty little heads filled with your spicy brains. Mmmm... your spicy brains.
05/05/03
by Ian is gaelic for "gift from God."
I'm going to try to type up this news before my FTP program logs me out due to inactivity. That may seem simple, but you only get like a minute and a half. That means I don't have any time to think about what I'm writing. Every spelling error is another stumbling block. I can do this. I will do this. I have already done this. WHEEE!!!!! Will no one help the widow's son?
04/28/03
by IanIanIanIanIan
Hey the internet, how's it going? Yeah, me too. So I updated the page again. Yeah, all kinds of stuff. No, not Stickman, that's still coming. Some other stuff though. You know. Stuff. Say the fuckin' words!
04/21/03
by Ian warned yah! For God's sake didn't he warn yah!?
IT IS STILL MONDAY. I RULE. Sorry, I did warn those who read the daily words about this. Anyway, on with the comics and stuff. Will you still play with my nipples when we spoon?
04/14/03
by Ian, World Champion at Cootie and Don't Break The Ice
TOTALLY ON TIME. Mother would be so proud. If she read the site that is. Or cared about me. I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster.
04/07/03
by Ian, friend of the children.
Check this out... something new here every week. And not like before, where once I ran out of stuff from other people I stopped, NO. New stuff every week, including something by me. For at least a month. You know, till I get distracted. I dunno, I got legos.
03/16/03
by Ian, Greek God of Cookies, Cake, and Dysentery.
Holy Crap, I'm totally rocking out! I can't believe how much I am rocking out! It's amazing! The Rocking that is happening right now is unprecedented. It's all so overwhelming that I need to take a nap. Jesus Christ, put your pants back on.
03/06/03
by Ian writes words every day
So for the past year I've written something or other pretty much every single weekday. the daily words. Well, there's now a year's worth to read, so honestly, you'd better get cracking. No nos las compramos.
02/27/03
by I is for: Irresponsible, Ian and Icecream!
Sorry about that. Two weeks of it was server trouble, but I've moved to a newer, faster, fancier server, and all should be well. The other two weeks was me being really fucking busy. Anyway, Here's a bunch of stuff by Kekai. You're the expert here.
01/21/03
by I think Ian is trying to pick me up...
Hey there sailor! Remember me? RRRROW! At any rate, here's your update stuff. That's right, UPDATE STUFF. By the way, as I write this... I'm not wearing any pants. RRRRROW!! It's about the decidedly non-epic travails of an accountant in a totally reasonable situation, easily performing tasks that are well within his abilities and comfort zone.
12/13/02
by a real gangsta ass Ian
Fuckin' A. All responsible and on time and shit. Of course, this will probably be the last update for like 3 months now. No way, a black girl's butt would be much bigger.
12/06/02
by The Great White Ian
Tara said this update was a little light, so there's a bonus Stickman thing to accompany the art of Nick and Kekai. Tara says this update is still pretty weak. Tara is a no person. By the sea, that's where I'll build a bed in Hawaii...
11/15/02
by The Big Ian
What's that smell? Why, it's desperation! I'm running really low on material, and since I'm as lazy as all of you, I haven't come up with any new stuff. Lordy, I sure could use me some submissions. AHEM. In totally unrelated news, I remember about that whole "PROMPT" section of the page. I think it's well past time for a new one. The prompt, boys and girls, is "Animal Rights." Three Thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Colfax, you're God damn right I'm living in the past!
10/31/02
by Ian is a liar
I know I said Fridays, but oops. So I'm going to lie in all the dates and pretend it's yesterday! Whee!! A lot of people think a lot of things about Hawaii!
10/25/02
by Ian-in-the-Box
Holy crap, I actually followed through. Honestly, I'm almost as suprised as the two of you still reading this are. Hot damn. Regular updates. HACHACHACHA! In EUROPE.
10/18/02
by Ian with a monkey on his back.
Ok, new plan. I'll update every FRIDAY or so. I have Fridays off now. Fridays. Super. Then it's agreed. And they never saw him again.
09/02/02
by SpongeIan Square Ass.
HOOOOOOO, HE WAS A MOUNTAIN OF MAN. UPDATE. UPDATE MAN. Thing. Oh shit... Get yer bitch on..
08/24/02
by Ian o'the HIGH SEAS
HOOO BOY! She's a biggun this update! Yes, it's true, in order to try to make it up to you that I've been so lame for so long, here's a big ass update. Please keep loving me. Touch my ass, if you're qualified.
08/06/02
by Nick. Actual work by Ian.
Dear Nick,
Here is your fucking update. More than that, it's an update entirely comprised of your stuff. Now stop yelling at me. Love, Ian. OH BOY!
07/24/02
by Uncle Ian and Comet.
A less pathetic time between updates! And this one is pretty big! And it has Fan Art for like the first time in a MILLION BILLION YEARS. At least my girlfriend cares enough to draw me pictures. Because Girls Love Soup.
07/15/02
by StrongIan
Once upon a time a child was born. A great child, with great strength, and hair. As time went on, this child grew into a great man. The greatest man. Then he got hit by a bus. He didn't die, but he was badly scarred and he got depressed, until a young boy met him, but by this point he was old and scary and hated children and he killed the young boy. The End. WEEEE OOOOOOH.
07/10/02
by Ian-lo.
Hello Laughter. Remember me? I used to draw things. Things like the thing I drew today. That's right, a thing that I drew is new, and it's here, and it's queer so get used to it except for the queer part. Sit beside the breakfast table, think about your troubles, pour yourself a cup of tea, think about the bubbles.
06/21/02
by Ian and a debilitating cold virus.
I'm retarded and I killed this day. I'm sorry. Don't worry, it wasn't funny, all I did was make a promise I didn't keep. What do you get when you cross an Owl with a Bungie Chord?.
05/23/02
by Ian and Rob Van Winkle, together on this track.
I'm tired of apologizing about taking forever to update the site. Fuck you guys. Fuck you right in your stupid
asses. Well, unless you don't hate me for not updating, and you're taking it in stride. Cause then I'd have
been totally out of line. And for that I apologize, you know, pending your having been cool about it. But if
you weren't cool, then I rescind my apology and go back to requesting that you fuck yourself in your stupid
ass. You call a cough a smile, and I can't tell glad from ill.
05/14/02
by Ian and Mordecai
ivealwaysbeenweirdedoutbyautisticsIcantreallyexplainwhyits
justweirdtothinkheymaybetheyrerightimeanicantlookatthe
goldengatebridgeoncethendrawitphotorealfrommemorynorcanimemorize
apageoftextafterlookingatitfor30secondsofcourseicantiemyownshoeswithout
issuewhichIguessissomethingtobehappyabout. Always with his hat on, always with his hat on...
05/06/02
by Satsui no Hado Ian
Back in Black! WOO!!! The problem with AC/DC is that while the early stuff is fun classic rock, the later stuff is shit. Big Balls is like the best song ever. My name is John Paul.
05/01/02
by Ian and Captain Da
It's been a long time, I shouldn'ta left you, without some new art to step to
Think of how many weak comics you slept through, times up, sorry I kept you.
I-Wal'll say peace, and you know I got SOUL. They'll never catch me, cause I'm fucking innocent.
04/24/02
by I-Wal
I'm hungry. I need to eat some breakfast. Are you hungry? You should eat too then. What's that? You're actually hungry for an update to my site? That's the dorkiest thing I've ever heard. You're such a fucking nerd. Do you know what true faith is?
04/17/02
by Ian, American Hero
ARE YOU READY FOR THE ROCKING! CAUSE THE ROCKING IS COMING! IT'S COMING FOR YOU! AND WHEN IT GET'S THERE! IT'S GOING TO ROCK! YOU! A WHOLE BUNCH! YOU'LL GET THOROUGHLY!! ROCKED!!! BY THE ROCKING!!! THE ROCKING! THAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU!! ON MY PAGE!! THIS PAGE!! Stop Making Funny Bean!
04/15/02
by and all the girls sing Ianpahpah
Gentlemen and Ladies, I present to you an astounding new technology! Images created from LIGHT! With complex chemical reactions, we capture light itself, to be displayed for your amusement! I call it... LIGHTOGRAPHY!!! Yeah, but I'm not the one who got arrested for assault.
04/08/02
by Dr. StrangeIan
Put that update down, you don't know where it's been! Jesus, you kids today. GET THAT OTHER ART OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! I swear to God, I'll turn this webpage around. KILLALLTHEWHITEMAN.com: It's really funny when you're autistic.
04/01/02
by Late Night with: Ian
Supa late night action? HUH! What can this be? OH GOODNESS! Try some Stickman, for good time in your life. Don't forget Sanrio.
03/31/02
by Who Framed Ian
This is the first weekend update in a long time. It's also the first update to have something drawn by the roth in a long time. It's also the least funny news post in a long time. Sorry. Zeus Saves.
03/26/02
by Ian and Dj Shadow
Rhodes the movie is the coolest thing on this site. It's in the prompt. Why can't more of you be English
people who send me long text files that I don't really understand but that make me laugh anyway! You're
all so lazy! Lazy like Indians! This is a story, about
being free.
03/20/02
by Ian and GRANDMA
It's the first annual OLD MAN DAY here at KILLALLTHEWHITEMAN.com! We suggest you celebrate by finding and old
person, and talking to them. Because you see, old people are stupid, so if you listen long enough, they'll say something really dumb about something or other, and you'll have a great story to tell your friends! About a
stupid old person! You'll be like "Yeah, that stupid old guy went on and on about the great depression, and
how it taught him the value of money or whatever. He even told me a story about killing a chicken! Isn't that
gross!!!" And your friends will go "OMIGOD!!!! That's so gross!!!" And then you'll say "Let's go buy some
ironically unhip vintage clothing!!!!" And you'll be stupid because not only is vintage clothing post-ironic,
the correct word would really have been ironical, even if no one uses it anymore. I am made of ham.
03/18/02
by Ian featuring Jesus
There's a new Stickman for your perusal. Feel free to peruse it. Once you're done, there are things that you
can peruse that aren't things that I did but instead were done by Buddha. One of them has baseball in it. I
did not invent the wheel, I was the crooked spoke adjacent.
03/15/02
by Ians Gone Wild!
Woooo! It's witty banter time. Except I'm not feeling that witty, and I can't really say I'm up for banter.
Daily Words has me all bantered out. Remember that movie I saw on the 8th? It was really good. It was called
Scratch. Also, the Resident Evil movie apparently has Mila Jovovich's Vagina in it. We'll call it a "Homo Sub".