We interrupt JOKES! week for an important announcement. Pluto is still a planet. A bunch of assholes in an astronomers’ union can’t have a meeting and make Pluto a non-planet. Pluto is a planet because we believe it is, in much the way that the Appalachian mountains are not hills because we call them mountains. This is consensus reality at work, and if we want to count Pluto as a planet no one can stop us. Astronomers can call Pluto whatever they want, because honestly, once they got the whole The Earth Revolves Around the Sun, Which Revolves Around a Galactic Core, Which Itself Revolves, And We’re Not Even Near the Center of the Universe thing out of the way, all their important work was done. Go to your telescope, watch my sky for killer asteroids, and shut the hell up. Fuck Astronomers.