Are you, like me, far too obsessed with the subtextual elements of most slurs? From the obvious (fag) to the less obvious (bitch) to the kind of unclear (dickweed) most slurs attempt to lump the slurred individual in with some other group, and it is an assumed malignancy of this group that lends the slur its heft.

With this in mind, I submit the following substitution.

Juggalo.

Juggalos are a self selecting group of people who actually are awful. No one is born a Juggalo. Juggalos aren’t just like you and me. They’re terrible. Screw those guys.

Use it like this:

Jesus Todd, stop being such a Juggalo and come pick me up!