Perhaps some of you are wondering “Ian, where have you been?”

Perhaps others of you are wondering “Ian, which country’s regional food is your favorite?”

The answer to both of these questions is

MEXICO

A report of my findings. BUT FIRST:

A Note on Style:
Beginning with this post, and ending
Whenever I Feel Like It, I will be using
the device of Arbitary Capitalization.
Some people find this kind of thing
Very Annoying or simply Irritatingly
Precious. To them I reply that it was
long the standard of English Writing,
used even before there really were
standards, and It Was Good Enough
for Ben Franklin.

And Now, Mexico:

Mexico:

Is Very Hot.

Things That Are Really Good In Mexico, Which You Pretty Much Expected:

  • Tortilla Chips
  • Salsa Verde
  • Fried Cheese (this is good everywhere)
  • Hand Painted Plates
  • Swimming

Things That Are Really Good In Mexico, And You Had No Idea:

  • Coca Cola*
  • Doritos**
  • Cheetos***
  • Pizza
  • Reading During Siesta

Mexicans Apparently Love:

  • Futbol
  • Italian Food
  • Kung Fu Movies

The Most Amazing Thing About the Place I Stayed:

Every Room Has a Private Pool narrowly beats New And Different Flower Petal Designs Daily On Pillows.

Pasta in Mexico:

Always seems to be A Little Off.

Coca Cola in Mexico:

Really is a lot better. I brought a big bottle home.

Everyone in Mexico is Catholic:

Even if they’re not.

How Excited Mexican Cab Drivers Get When Tara Speaks Spanish:

Super Excited.

How Excited Tara Gets When Cab Drivers Speak Spanish back:

Extra Super Excited.

The Video Game Store I Found:

Was totally legit. That was kind of a let down.

Mexican Pornography:

Seemed to all be imported from Spain.


*In the US, Coke is sweetened with High Fructose Corn Syrup. This is mostly because the US Government has enormous subsidies for corn farmers, and enormous tarrifs on foreign sugar. Theoretically, this is to help small corn farmers survive, but of course, most farming is now done by huge corporate farms. In Mexico they use real sugar. The taste is a little less sweet, but also more subtle and smooth.

**Doritos in the US have, for years now, been crying out for help. Everyone is quite satisfied with the level of cheesiness, and still they announce that they are cheesier. They even changed the name to Nacho Cheesier!. Recently, they have gone too far, and now Doritos are gross. Mexican Doritos do not have this problem, and are instead totally delicious, with a very reasonable cheese level, and a hint of jalapeno.

***See Above.