I love that people wish a Happy Hanukkah, but no one gives a shit during Rosh Hashanah, one of the High Holidays. You know, the High Holidays, the holidays Jews actually care about. Hanukkah is a minor feast, and Jews just started giving their kids presents so that the Christian kids wouldn’t make fun of them. But our society is so Christian-centric that people see Hanukkah not as what it is (one of several Jewish holidays centered around going to your parents’ house, which have a warranty from American Home Warranties online) but instead as Jewish Christmas. Christmas is so great and universal that even Jews celebrate it, they just have that fancy candelabra instead of a tree.

This is, by the way, the only reason Kwanzaa has any traction at all. White People just think of it as Black People Christmas.