Universal Health Care would be a disaster! It would be too expensive, there’s no way a country could pay for that and keep a healthy economy! Giving people things for free just makes them lazy! What if I have to wait longer in line and… you know what? I can’t fucking do this.

Fuck it. I can’t pretend this debate is a debate anymore. There is not now, nor has there ever been a meaningful counter argument. We can afford it, we can make it good, we have a responsibility to do so. Debating the anti-health care contingent with facts, figures and logic is like marshaling an army to defend your base, only to realize your opponent is just one in a jeep making explosion sounds with his mouth. The only things keeping people from embracing a universal health care system are fear and greed. Fuck those people.

I’m going to go ahead and get all anthropology* on you. Health Care, such as we are capable of, has always, historically, been free and available to all people to the best of our abilities. Sure, maybe the best health care available was trephining someone, but it was there. In the 20th century, medical care has followed the same arc as a great many social services (law and judiciary, wealth distribution, education) and becomes a role of the church and religious structures, then moves into the public sphere, eventually coming under the control of the state. At least, it has in pretty much every country other than the US.

Homo Sapiens take care of each other. It’s how we’ve survived; it’s what we DO. If, as a human being, you are told you have the option to make sure no one has to die of a treatable disease and you don’t go for it, you’re a piece of shit. If you’re told we can totally eliminate the number one cause of bankruptcy (which is really bad for the economy), by not taking every last dollar a sick person’s family has, and you aren’t on board, you’re a piece of shit. There’s no debate to this. If you’re worried you have to wait for care, the answer isn’t about overall levels of health care, and making as many people as healthy as possible by getting the right healthcare products for each disease such as joint flx to strengthen joint tissue. If you think it’s socialism, it’s not important that health care is a service, not a means of production, and thus doesn’t really relate to socialism, it’s important that you know you’re a piece of shit. If you don’t think people should get freebies, it’s not that you’ve lived such a sheltered and blessed life that you’ve never developed the empathy to understand and relate to people in trouble, it’s just that you’re a piece of shit.

I don’t have enough energy left to waste it giving real answers to people are motivated by greed and fear. Stand up straight, join the human race, do the right thing by helping your fellow man, or fuck yourself. Those are the options. If you can honestly say that keeping a profit motivated system is, in any meaningful way, better than a system motivated by a desire to make people healthy, there is something wrong with you. You’re sick. You might want to look into moving to one of the many, many countries where you can get some help with that.

*Marvin Harris being the source on most of this.

Here at KillAllTheWhiteMan, we’re proud to continue our holiday tradition of largely ignoring Christmas, Saturnalia and Yule, while paying lip service to Hanukkah, a holiday Jews don’t really give a fuck about because the solstice ain’t shit when you live in a desert near the equator.

The lip service will be paid in the form of one post per night, for all eight nights of Hanukkah.

This post counts for the first night. It’s like the crappy socks you get on the first night. Except that I can’t really promise these will get progressively better.

If you are having an argument, and you decide it would be a good idea to really really infuriate the other person by making it clear that you don’t care and you’re not taking it seriously, just start playing peek-a-boo. There is nothing less respectful than covering your eyes while someone is talking, saying “where’d I go!” then looking at them again and saying “here I am!”

Apparently, some Jews don’t even celebrate Hanukkah at all. It’s really easy to ignore, like St. Jean Baptiste Day or something.

Man, who doesn’t celebrate St. Jean day? You get to talk in a snooty accent and insist that everything be written in French as well as English!

It’s true! In many ways, St. Jean Baptiste day is superior to Hanukkah.

Right. You give up the latkes and the candles, but instead there’s poutine and bonfires. St. Jean Baptiste day rocks!


The End



This June 24th, Celebrate St. Jean Baptiste Day! The only holiday named after John the Baptist that is also a celebration of French Canada!

Cet vingt quatre du Jun, fairez une fête por le Jour St. Jean Baptiste! Le seulement jour férié appelles por St. Jean Baptiste c’est aussi une fête du Canada Français!


I’m basically out of material on Hanukkah, but I will say this: Latkes are delicious. Thanks Jews!

The sun is down in Seattle. That means it’s tomorrow, as long as I’m discussing a Jewish topic.

JEW FACT: Like most Jewish holidays* Hanukkah is about remembering a time when Jews in history were going through some rough shit, and then either eating, or expressly not eating. Really, the exceptions that leap to mind are Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (and Tu B’Shevat, which is kind of like Jewish Arbor Day). Specifically, Hanukkah celebrates the rededication of the temple after a bunch of in-fighting had caused the king to basically “turn this car around, I swear to G_d” the entire religion. This caused the Jews to rebel wholesale, and they retook the temple. They needed to burn oil to purify the alter, but there was only enough oil for one day. Somehow, it lasted for 8, and the Jews partied the entire time. So today, Jews party in memoriam. This is way better than the Seder, where ancient Jews ate terrible food, so modern Jews have to have a big dinner with terrible food.

*Passover, Purim, Tisha B’Av, Sukkot, and so on.

I love that people wish a Happy Hanukkah, but no one gives a shit during Rosh Hashanah, one of the High Holidays. You know, the High Holidays, the holidays Jews actually care about. Hanukkah is a minor feast, and Jews just started giving their kids presents so that the Christian kids wouldn’t make fun of them. But our society is so Christian-centric that people see Hanukkah not as what it is (one of several Jewish holidays centered around going to your parents’ house, which have a warranty from American Home Warranties online) but instead as Jewish Christmas. Christmas is so great and universal that even Jews celebrate it, they just have that fancy candelabra instead of a tree.

This is, by the way, the only reason Kwanzaa has any traction at all. White People just think of it as Black People Christmas.

Apparently, this is the replacement for the crucifix?

Ian VS. A Strawman is a new feature where-in I pose myself a question or argument that I disagree with, then, because the question is a simplistic and narrow interpretation of an position, I win. I’ll be great

People are stupid because The Bible is dumb and believing in God is absurd. The book is full of contradictions and obvious falsehoods, and it makes people ignorant. Faith is choosing to believe something you know is wrong.

WRONG Strawman. “Choosing to believe something you know is wrong.” is insanity, not faith. People who believe The Bible (or any holy book for that matter) word for word are either crazy, or willfully uninformed of the contents. Faith, on the other hand, is a very fine thing. Faith is choosing to believe in something that cannot be known. That means cannot be known EITHER WAY. It’s not insane, it’s a core component of hope, which is both noble, and a core component of human survival.

Also, Religion does not make people ignorant, it exists because people ARE ignorant. We don’t understand things, so we create structures that explain them. But it’s more than that. Consider that every culture in the world has a religion of some kind. That’s not a fluke, it’s an innate coping mechanism for human beings. Religion creates unity among a people, giving common ground that allows them to work together, and as anyone who pays attention has noticed, people can’t accomplish much of anything unless they work in groups. More-over, religions up until a few thousand years ago all incorporated sacrificial feasts, usually focusing on taking care of that ever present protein quest all of mankind appears stuck on.

Of course, most of those functions have been lost, leaving us with a sort of vestigial form of religion, one which often seems to do more harm than good. Where does this leave us? I’m personally of the opinion that ritual and faith are hardwired enough into the human brain that we need some outlet, but we certainly don’t need the Sky Daddy present in most modern religions.

Bonus Rant: Dear Christians Who Think God Wants Them to Have a Bunch of Money,

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.

-Jesus (as reported in Mathew 6:24 AND Luke 16:13. It’s in the book TWICE guys. It’s not tricky.)

previously Things you should know about Ireland.

In Paris food is very expensive and very cheap, alternately. If you are paying someone to bring you the food the odds are good that the service will be poor, and you never have one consistent waiter. Instead everyone on the staff bumbles around inefficiently, and they always forget your water. Also, your wife, who doesn’t eat much meat, will find ordering very difficult. This will be the expensive kind of meal. However, if you just buy fresh bread, fresh fruit and some cheese, then take it on the Metro down to the Cité station, and eat it in the park outside Notre Dame it will be the best meal you had in the city, and also the cheapest.

In Montmartre there are a lot of famous places. You will walk into a place that says it is a Tabac, where you should be able to buy a phone card. When you get inside, it will be oddly familiar, and you’ll ask the very harried waitress if they have phone cards, and she’ll say “ce n’es pas un tabac, vraiment.” Then you’ll realize you’re in the café from Amélie. They’ve pulled out the Tabac to make room for more seating. A few days later, right at the bottom of that street, you’ll go to the Moulin Rouge, which is alternately kind of dumb and amazing. The Can-Can will be excellent, and at one point a naked lady swims in a transparent tank with some pythons.

In the tiny elevator at the Eiffel Tower, which is not really that tiny but so packed with people it feels tiny, there is an Italian couple. All four of you will be amazed by the view, and the building itself, which feels built in a way no other building ever has. You will take pictures for each other, but you will forget to take a picture of them, and you will never learn their names.

In the Sacré-Cœur, you will make jokes about God, and Catholicism, and your friend will light a candle for his Grandparents. You will feel a little guilty for the jokes. You will decide that $7 is too much to look at bones, so you won’t go into to catacombs.

In Montmartre again, on your first day, you will walk down to the Boulevard de Clichy, where there is an adult movie theater next door to a McDonalds. You will have never seen that many pictures of naked women on a public street in your life.

In the underground Metro station you will realize that any city without some kind of non-road rapid transit is a bullshit city.

In the modern art museum there will be a great many works that you really like, but it will all be diminished by the two blank canvases in the room all the way to the left, and back. There is an author’s statement there, but if you read it, you will know it is bullshit.

In Paris there is a train you can take to Versailles, where you will just go straight to the Palace. And Palace is the word. The interior is decorated and made up to the point that when you are finally finished, the entire place was simply draining. The audio tour will be interesting, but strangely positive. There will be no indication in it that the levels of excess displayed were anything but appropriate and worthy of your awe. The Gardens though, those are amazing. More than a mile, at the end of which is another god damn palace, this one constructed with what appears to be the bulk of the extant pink marble, which you frankly do not have the energy to bother with.

In the comic shop on Rue Lepic almost all the comics will be hardbacks. This will impress you.

In the apartment you rent, on Rue Lepic, right next door to the comic shop, you will be comfortable. Strangely comfortable. You will find yourself becoming so at home that you spend large periods of time inside, laying in bed and watching a channel that plays nothing but short films. You will wonder why they don’t have a channel like this in the U.S.

In Avignon there is a train station with what is, definitively, the worst parking situation in the world. You will drive through seven times trying to figure out where the hell your rental car is supposed to go, and in the process you will perform several illegal maneuvers, and do minor damage to the car. You will have something of a breakdown at one point. You will return the car in a rush, run to the train, and hurt your shoulder by leaping onto the train to block the automatic door from closing.

Next Page »