AWESOME


Just now, it was my job to come up with and then type the words “Knock Knock. Who’s There? MURDER!”

I got paid to do it.

AWESOME.

They are back for a family Reunion, Jim is back involving his marriage with Michelle and needs to learn how to be a father. So he gets Stifler to help out with his newborn son who will be in the fraternity house of the Beta”s in his further life! First he gets baptized in a church where he learns his family heritage from inside The Bible of East Great Falls where he learns his father was also was in virginity. Paul Finch happens to go from a virgin to a catholic where he baptized little William and Kevin learns his past involving his relationship with Vicki. Michelle is still talking about Band Camp and will be the new Macro, Kevin will get back with Vicki, Oz will become Captain of lacrosse and will be in touch with his girlfriend Heather. Things will change as their Reunion ends, Will this be the last slice of the pie.

The internet is the greatest collection of information in history. No library has ever rivaled it, and certainly, none has been faster. Look, check this out:

All I had to do was go to Google and search for “Pictures of Bears.” Do you have any idea how long it would have taken to find a picture of bear cubs doing Karate before the internet?

AWESOME.

Yet another good way to piss someone off.
1) Be wearing headphones.
2) Ask someone a question with a complicated answer.
3) While they answer look at them intently yet blankly.
4) When they stop talking say “Yeah, I still have these headphones on. I didn’t hear any of that. This is really loud.”
5) Ignore any reply and go back to what you were doing.
6) Now someone is angry with you!

AWESOME.

“Dude” Lebowski, mistaken for a millionaire Lebowski, seeks restitution for his ruined rug and enlists his bowling buddies to help get it.

Set in unoccupied Africa during the early days of World War II; An American expatriate meets a former lover, with unforseen complications.

A champion of a brutal cross-country car race of the future where pedestrians are run down for points has a change of heart while being hounded by rivals and a conspiracy seeking to stop the race.

A highschooler discovers that he is a werewolf.

Following the death of a publishing tycoon, news reporters scramble to discover the meaning of his final utterance.

AWESOME.

A lot of people think swears from other countries are funny, or absurd, like the Dutch kut met peren, which means, literally, cunt with pears. It’s an exclamation analogous to yelling son of a bitch after stubbing your toe.

But consider how weird the phrase son of a bitch is. It means the male child of a female dog. Basically, it is a puppy. People from the U.S. get angry and yell puppy!

AWESOME.

Apparently, some Jews don’t even celebrate Hanukkah at all. It’s really easy to ignore, like St. Jean Baptiste Day or something.

Man, who doesn’t celebrate St. Jean day? You get to talk in a snooty accent and insist that everything be written in French as well as English!

It’s true! In many ways, St. Jean Baptiste day is superior to Hanukkah.

Right. You give up the latkes and the candles, but instead there’s poutine and bonfires. St. Jean Baptiste day rocks!

 
 

The End

 
 
 
 
 

 

This June 24th, Celebrate St. Jean Baptiste Day! The only holiday named after John the Baptist that is also a celebration of French Canada!
 

 
Cet vingt quatre du Jun, fairez une fête por le Jour St. Jean Baptiste! Le seulement jour férié appelles por St. Jean Baptiste c’est aussi une fête du Canada Français!

AWESOME.

I wrote this joke after talking with my friend about Scorpion and Felix, a novel Karl Marx wrote before all that communism stuff got started.

AHEM!

Two philosophers walk into a bar.
The first one says “Dialectical Discourse is always useful for determining the validity of a position.”
and the second philosopher says “No it isn’t.”

AWESOME.

As far as my Google searches show, the phrase just a little horse porn is extant nowhere on the internet. Nowhere, that is, until now.

AWESOME.

People who obsess over their favorite form of entertainment to the point of dressing up in the costumes associated with them are sad at best, and possibly dangerously disconnected from reality.fan1.jpg

 
 
 
 
 
 

ONE MORE TIME

 
 
 
 
 
 

People who obsess over their favorite form of entertainment to the point of dressing up in the costumes associated with them are sad at best, and possibly dangerously disconnected from reality.fan2.jpg

 
 
AWESOME.

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